Jesus spotted in home made cookie

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a [censored] cross ever again? " --Bill Hicks 

Just in time for Easter: crucified Jesus cookie cutters. This may be taking transubstantiation just a little too far.

creation phase 1

We are a contingent part of reality, there is nothing that necessitates our being here. Looking from a materialist perspective the universe is as it is purely by chance. The conditions happen to be balanced in a way that allows for the possibility of life, so we shouldn't be overly astounded at the fact that life exists. Here's were the contingent part comes in, there are an infinite number of ways that the universe could have organized itself after the big bang, and theoretically speaking these variations on the theme likely exist in the quantum foam somewhere. We lucked out, and popped up in one where the Anthropic principle is in operation, it's good to be alive.

Similarly, in the spiritual sphere, we are not here out of strict necessity - for starters we could have chosen not to come. God by definition is perfect, in other words whole, which means in some sense that he didn't need to create us, because he doesn't need anything. He doesn't want for anything, he just is. Creation (and this is a big call, I know) consequently is a choice, not an obligation.

I used to look at the arts and wonder what they're for. Examined through a harsh lens they don't seem to serve any practical purpose (in the Darwinian sense). Sure, musicians and artists in the right context seem to pull a lot of girls, but I'm not sure this is a result of evolutionary fitness, more a by-product of certain cultural expectations and values (and sometimes a contrarian interaction with them). But where does culture come from and where is it going? It creates order, it creates meaning, and art, when it comes down to it is a huge contributor to culture creation. So all though it seems at first blush to be self-indulgent fluff perhaps (and little more), while not vital to our physical survival it still serves a human or consciousness affirming purpose: Art often prompts us to contemplate life the universe and everything, no small task. It is the result of creativity courtesy of our initial creation and I like it.

Try some at your own risk.

TBC soon

the curious case of 'reliance' in LDS theology

From the marriam webster online dictionary>>
re·ly
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈlī\
Function: intransitive verb

1 : to be dependent
2 : to have confidence based on experience

I rely on the merits of him who is mighty save. And when I say "rely" I mean so in a highly specialized way. After a number of pioneers had been rescued from the harsh winter conditions of the unforgiving American plains, Brigham young told the already established saints that all the prayers and faith in the world wouldn't help the suffering (much), they didn't need prayers they needed potatoes and other temporal necessities, or something to that effect. As the saying goes God helps those who help themselves and in select cases others intervene on God's behalf in the lives of those who try to live right by him. In this world most stuff is up to humans.

When we say we rely on God, it's not the same as saying that I'm relying on Joe Blogs to pay me today that 20 bucks he owes me from last week, I think what we're saying, when we're on top of our game anyway, is that I'm going to do what I think is right, and God gave me this sense of distinguishing between right and wrong, so hopefully this decision and action will help me on my way back to him. In other words reliance on God doesn't place the responsibility for our destiny on his shoulders, we're not the US Congress handing our powers all over to the Executive branch, in crisis we need to take responsibility for our own bailout. I have a feeling that God interferes in human affairs as little as possible, partly because so little has been seen of him lately or even ever. It is safe to say that we can expect few Deus Ex Machina moments. He put the wheels in motion, and now he's watching them turn making minor adjustments as needed, any major adjustments need to be handled by us. In the gospel rely=DIY.

note: this post is talking about life in a temporal sense, reliance obviously extends into the eternities with the effects of the atonement etc.

interview with the bible

your host: Welcome to Tough Talk.


Bible: Thnk y.


your host: Please, in English.


Bible: Verily.


your host: How 'bout we go colloquial, we don't want to confuse anyone.


Bible: Ah, so you're asking for clarity, my specialty don't worry yourself about it. I'll speak in the most simplistic language I can muster.


your host: It's interesting that you should say that. For a collection of writings dedicated to breaking the world down (especially moralistically) into simple conceptual categorizations of black and white, interpretations of your content have been, at best, varied, which points to a lack of clarity in my estimation, how do you respond to this?


Bible: People are peculiar creatures, they see and believe what they want to. These vagrant interpretations that you allude to can in some cases be attributed simply to prejudices of perhaps influential individuals throughout history, which views over time have been adopted into the wider culture of worship. The teachings found herein need not be confusing at all, you need to go about things with the right spirit so to speak. I can offer advice but I'll need to invoke the King James English?

your host: Go ahead...

Bible: In 2 Peter 1:20-21 I say: "Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost." or, and this one I'm particularly fond of, from 2 Timothy 3:16 " All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness."

your host: I realize that your content, for believers, are all direct revelations from God, the Song of Solomon notwithstanding, but the thing that trips up many people is verifying whether or not that claim is true. There has to be some kind of test outside of the bible itself which can substantiate the quote unquote truth within it. Accepting the authority of the Bible strictly as a brute fact seems to go above and beyond the reasonable limits of faith into something new and well perhaps dangerous.

You touched on the Holy Ghost which I'm sure will have some bearing on the the whole process, but there's something else I'd like to focus on for the moment. I'm glad you brought up the manner of your transcription, because that leads us into another well documented controversy, namely the Documentary Hypothesis and the Synoptic Problem, did these (purported) holy men of God receive revelation directly from him, I'm talking about the Moseses and the Matthews, the Marks, and the Lukes; or is the Torah actually a compilation of unknown authors with enigmatic tags like J,E, D and H? Why are the first three gospels so similar?

Bible: Well Mr. Host, that's a very good many questions, I'll have to address the issue of the Holy Ghost which we're saving for later only because it impacts deeply on what we're discussing now. What we need to remember is that traditions are created by segments of society to introduce a semblance of order to chaos. As the philosophers say the natural state of humankind is "Nasty, brutish and short." It wasn't always that way, but over time things became unpleasant, which conditions were undesirable, so individuals and families banded together into clans which became tribes and so forth, practices were introduced to encourage unity and prosperity for the group. Traditions were passed on, some of them made it to the twenty first century (almost). In Christianity and Judaism one of these traditions is that Moses wrote the first five books of the old testament. Now for anyone interested in reading the bible it doesn't much matter who wrote what, from a historical perspective it's nice to know (and yes more than one author contributed to the Torah) but more important is what power or influence they wrote by. The Holy Ghost is not only the medium for receiving revelation, but for verifying it also. It takes time to learn to listen and understand its subtle language, but the only way to know what is true and what's not is to give it a try. Go on, it wont hurt.

your host: It all sounds very mystical, but I'll take that it into consideration. We'll be back after the break.

noble in defeat, solemn in victory

I like Nephi. Nephi is a stand-up bloke. You can learn a great deal about the world just by contrasting Nephi's approach to life, to that of his enemies. Take Laban for instance, after duping four young gentlemen out of their inheritance, a great abundance of gold and silver and precious things, he did what any red blooded male would do in his place, he painted the town red by getting absolutely off-his-face drunk.

This is instructive of course, don't go on a drinking binge after scoring it rich, it's not worth it. Guard yourself against ostentatious displays of arrogance in victory and all of that, every American football player alive would do well to learn from this, someone makes and tackle and celebrates like they just won the Superbowl, it's all just a little sickening. But I digress... With sobriety as a top priority we can't even conceive of Nephi doing anything that would come close to getting him tipsy, sure he'd chop a guys head off, impersonate his own uncle and misappropriate ancient records carved in precious metal, but we can't really begrudge him any of this can we? Laban had it coming, and besides when it comes to the fruits of the Spirit (the entity that gave our hero a little nudge) against such there is no law.

When Nephi got his prize - the plates - he didn't hoot and holler or get on the grog, he simply walked for three days back to his dad's tent, where the group said their thank yous and made their sacrifices to the God of Israel and then got on with their lives. I like that even keeled approach, don't get too high when the gettings good, don't get too low when you hit a road bump. Whatever happens, you just keep on trucking. Sure there's a time to laugh and cry and dance, there is a season turn, turn, turn, you just gotta pick your spots and know when to say when. Therefore, let us be cautious in the ways we celebrate our perceived victories, be like Nephi, be wise O what can I say more.

and it came to pass that I was thinking...

Hi my name's Loren and I'm sharing a wonderful message today about how Austar can change your life. It just doesn't feel the same for some reason. Perhaps in a(n) (misguided) effort to recapture the glory days of my mission I've taken it upon myself to become a door to door salesman, canvasing any and everyone who'll listen in an attempt to sell cable or satellite TV. Does the world really need more TV watchers? Anyway wasn't tracting the worst part of missionary work? Temperatures in excess of thirty degrees, 99% humidity and I'm thinking it's time to rethink my little trip down memory lane. In this heat nostalgia doesn't feel so good.

With the litany of abandoned projects that I've accumulated over the years I often wonder where it's all headed. What is the narrative that I've weaving through my conscious and unconscious choices. Nothing rouses my faculties like thinking about the meaning of life, particularly the meaning of my life. At times I feel as if I should be working towards some kind of unifying design with the world. That somehow it is my privilege to raise humanity, by for once reaching out beyond myself. Another part of me says, leave saving the world to Jesus that's his job. We all have our jobs, mine is at Austar at present, but I feel that there's something else, it just hasn't quite taken shape in my mind yet. The good thing about Jesus is he isn't greedy and he isn't a glory hog either. He'll let me help save the world if I want, I just don't know how. Any ideas?

which religion has the best retirement plan?

the following may offend virgins, 2nd councilors, Muslims, Mormons and people with no sense of humour...



Good morning brothers and sisters,

I'm grateful to be here on this most staggering sabbath-like occasion. You know I was walking down the road the other day, true story, innocently minding my own business, as we boulevardier types are want to do, and one of these freaks, I think we call them councillors approaches me. We're all brothers and sisters right, so I play along. Hello brother so and so hows the old the watcha madosie thinga majig. This sets him off, he tells me all about the intricacies of mowing his lawn, his shoddy investment deals, his son on a mission and his other son who's got 5-10 for armed robbery and his life dedicated to becoming a chartered accountant. You can't fault the man's small talk skills, he had me right were he wanted me and I was totally oblivious.

One minute we're discussing the wonders of compound interest the next I'm holding a white envelope in my hand (which whiteness was above that of all that I ever before I had seen). By the way you don't mind being the final speaker this Sunday now do you. Do you a lot of good, plenty of blessings and all that, well all the best I'll be on my way. I had know idea, none. If I pass out from sheer inability to live up to the task at hand please bear with me, I had a difficult childhood and Sister Robins is glaring at me in an intensely unsettling way. And I'm profoundly grateful to the bishopric for this assignment. Thank you, thank you.

*waffles for five more minutes*

Thanks again. Today I've been assigned to speak on the topic: "Which religion has the best retirement plan." Where do you begin with something like that ,I mean we all know the answer already. Am I right? Huh? That's what I thought too then I started doing a little digging. It's funny, it's like the bishop really new what I needed to focus on at this point in my life. Lets begin with Islam. Now here's a religion with some real, how shall I say, big kahunas. I mean 72 virgins. 72!?! Each!?! Gentlemen I believe we have a winner...

...to be continued

beautiful paradox: an interlude in "Why is God a Fractal?"

Look at him, what a seedy character. He's got a goatee and a sequined t-shirt. He must be less active (8 out 10 subjects responded in this way).

What is this guy a hippy or something, don't these dudes know we're supposed to stay clean shaven?Oh, right, sorry Jesus.

The Weightier Matters, Sort Of:

In part 2 I came to the conclusion that looks matter, it turns out they also don't. Ugly, hairy, beautiful, bald as a babies bottom, it doesn't really matter; what does matter when assessing our character is the advice God gave to the Prophet Samuel when he (Samuel) was looking for an heir to the throne of Israel: "But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." 

I'm also reminded of a quote from the movie Blood Diamond:

Benjamin Kapanay: "My heart always told me that people are inherently good. My experience suggests otherwise. But what about you, Mr. Archer? In your long career as a journalist, would you say that people are mostly good?"

Danny Archer: "No , I'd say they're just people."

We're born with the equal potential for good or bad, it's not clear if our appearance reveals with any degree of accuracy what choices we've made throughout our lives. It's probably best, then to withhold any definitive judgement of others -- making judgements on a provisional basis is probably reasonable --  be the best we can personally and let God take care of the rest.